Recently I was reminded that I have not yet figured myself out.
During some of my own personal work, I discovered a part of myself I wasn’t even aware of. It wasn’t necessarily good or bad: it was just…surprising. For years, it had been hanging around in a corner of my being waiting to be found. It threw me off for a few days because I had to make space for it within the rest of my identity.
I am no stranger to introspection, it’s what I do naturally and what I do for a living, so I, of all people should understand that we are never really done knowing ourselves. But still, it was both humbling and invigorating to remember just how mysterious and vast each of us is.
It reminds me of this quote by Walt Whitman from his epic poem “Song of Myself”:
“Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)”
Self-discovery never ends and is full of endless surprises. You are not one thing. You are not even many things. You are thousands and millions of things. You are traits, upon experiences, upon connections, upon weather systems, upon dimly lit crevices within you psyche. You contain multitudes and those multitudes will continue to surprise you your whole life as you explore and discover them and see how each fits and contradicts and compliments.
For those of you who feel weak at this moment, know you are also strength. For those of you who feel strong at this moment, know you are also weak. You contain so much more than what is operating right now. In a single life you will experience countless changing feelings and identities and they all belong.
You are not exactly who you think you are. You are much more.